Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
