We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
Randomize
