i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
third nipple confirmed
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize
