i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
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