how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize