only if we run a train.
done.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
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