We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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