this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Randomize
