shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
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