I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
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