I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Randomize
