I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Randomize
