What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
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