my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Randomize
