She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
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