man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
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