Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Randomize
