I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
Randomize
