girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Randomize
