Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize