His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
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