I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
I would fuck him just for his dog
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
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