he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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