Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
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