During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
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