If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
