how can u be prego again
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
Randomize
