I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
