1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
