So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
Randomize
