I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
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