i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Randomize
