I never want to see another naked old woman again.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Randomize
