Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize
