I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
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