I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Will exercising make me less horny?
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
