not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Randomize
