Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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