I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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