I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
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