the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
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