no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
Everyone says I win the strip club
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
