worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
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