Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize