You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize
