my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
Randomize
