an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize