Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
