I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
