The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
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