Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
our cab driver is having phone sex.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Randomize
