Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
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