U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
