Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
