I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize