Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
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