All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Randomize
