I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
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