Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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