ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Randomize
