I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Randomize
