Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
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