you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
I got her a Nickelback box set.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize