Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
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